Fatherhood Friday: Beat and Greet - James Ninness

Last week was a long week.

I had a book signing at a store up in Rancho Cucamonga on Wednesday. I left the house around seven in the morning. The signing lasted from noon to eight at night. The beer that was sipped consistently throughout the day did not increase my energies. I stayed a hotel that night, passing out at an early ten. If I am honest with myself, I suppose the bed I had, which lacked another body or any child-incursions was kind of nice.

The next day I was up at five and on the road to Phoenix Arizona. I pulled into town before noon and spent the entirety of Thursday visiting thirteen bookstores and comic shops, trying to get them to pick up copies of my book for consignment. It was incredibly exhausting. When my head hit the pillow at eleven that night, I fell into sleep. Unfortunately, that bed had another grown man in it, so my delight in lonesome slumber from the evening before was not echoed.

Then came the comic convention. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were spent hustling, moving and shaking at the show, hawking my wares, walking around the entirety of downtown Phoenix, and drinking a great deal of alcohol-influenced beverages. By the time Sunday came, I was craving family time.

I was like an addict in drought, licking my gums and twitching for a little bit of affection. The ride home was rough, twisting and sipping energy drinks in an attempt to stay awake. Finally, around one in the morning, I arrived at home.

Everyone was asleep. I peeked in on the kids, delighted enough to see them safe in their beds, dreaming with subtle smiles. My wife was equally inspiring, cradling her arm around a pillow in my absence. It was a heartfelt moment and the first bit of calm I?d had since the Wednesday before.

Before slumber, I opted for a bowl of cereal and a quick viewing of the American Horror Story: Asylum finale I had missed. At some point in the episode my daughters? room opened and the eldest came stumbling out, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes.

I expected a smile. I expect laughter and running into my arms. I expected a heartfelt cheer of joy and an heavy session of cuddling and kisses. I expected something happy.

She stopped at the edge of the room and stared at me with a black face.

?Hey, baby,? I smiled at her, pausing the video.

She waited a moment and then scowled, pointing her finger at me with a sleepy rage. ?You?re not mommy.?

And like the wind, she was gone.

I wasn?t exactly depressed. I thought it was kind of funny. It was a sad funny.

Okay. Fine. I was depressed.

I went to bed.

The next morning I woke to the sounds of a busy house. My wife was getting the older creature up and ready for the day. I opened my eyes to the sweetest face ever: my one year old girl. She was standing at the edge of the bed, staring at me.

I waited a moment and maintained eye contact before groaning, ?Morning, sweetie.?

The child?s face twisted into total fear and the sound that escaped her would put a banshee to shame. There was so much fear and confusion in that moment that I leapt from bed and tried to lift her into comfort. Apparently, the spawn felt threatened and ran from my room, screaming the entire time for her mother.

A mild depression set in once again. This was not the triumphant return I had expected.

The wife went to work and for a few hours the children were unwilling to get too close. They watched me apprehensively, like a new pet ? speaking of which, the dogs were great and met me with all the warmth I had expected from my girls.

I guess it all worked out. By the end of the day we were playing, rolling and laughing together like I had never been gone. It was a comfort that had to be reestablished on their time.

It made me never want to leave again.

But I will. Having my own bed was kinda awesome?

Source: http://jamesninness.com/2013/02/fatherhood-friday-beat-and-greet/

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