Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Site That Breathes: Relationships and Love

It's hard to believe my boyfriend Blake and I have been
together for a year. We made it official August 29, 2011. Many times it seems
like a lot longer than that. Maybe it's because we've already discussed
long-term goals, and we know we want to be together in the future. He's
everything I could ever want in a man, and much more. He is very kind,
respectful, honest, caring, loving etc. I could go on and on with different
adjectives and words to describe him but it would be a lot to read. I'm very
happy in my life right now and look forward to each new milestone we make
together.
To be honest, I didn't think I would find love at this
age; I especially didn't think so after my accident. It kind of steered me away
from relationships because I thought that it would be extremely difficult to
find someone who understood my situation and was willing to deal with it no
matter what. Then I met Blake. He is also a quad, but his injury is at C-4 C-5.
He was in a diving accident on June 1, 2003 at the age of 17, exactly 7 months
after mine (November 1, 2002). Blake is able to move his arms (although it's
limited in some areas) and therefore capable of doing many things for himself like
eating and driving. I think he's amazing at what he's learned to be able to do!
Although our abilities are different, our minds are very alike.

I think it's crazy how much we have in common. We are able to relate to each other in a lot of ways and that is definitely one reason we get along so well. I know he understands my situation and what I'm going through. The same goes for me being able to understand him. We always know what the other is thinking and haven't had one disagreement or fight in the last year. That always seems to surprise a lot of people. Someone once told me our relationship isn't "normal" because of this, but I actually think it's a good thing.
We only see each other about once or twice a week being that we are both in school. Although, we try to video every night using Google+ hang out. He used to live about 45 min. away from me, which was a little challenging; he recently moved to an apartment in St. Paul which is only 25 min. from my house. A much better drive and it makes it so we can see each other more often. We do a lot together like go out to eat, go to movies, sports games, museums etc.
I've been asked many times about what dating is like as a C-1 C-2 quadriplegic paralyzed from the neck down. It seems like a complicated question, but some of the answers aren't any different than from someone who is able bodied. Before meeting Blake, I still faced the same obstacles like finding someone who was my type and liked me for who I am. I had ups and downs and faced rejection just like others. I also had to learn that this was okay and that I didn't need to settle with just anybody to make me happy.

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The thing that was different was dealing with my disability at the same time as trying to maintain a relationship with someone. Also, I had to accept that I was unable to change my situation and that the challenges I face as a quad continue and don't just disappear once I find someone. This is now extremely easy for me to handle, especially being that I am in a committed relationship with Blake, who happens to face some of the very challenges I do. I'm very happy in my life right now and couldn't be more excited about the future and what may lie ahead. I continue to live each day to the fullest and make the best out of what I'm given. With all of the things I've been through I'm very lucky to be alive and have the chance to live out my life to the depths I want. I am grateful that I can make my own decisions and stay true to myself and my beliefs. Despite the obstacles that do or may come my way, I go at them full force ready to overcome. Sometimes I think I'm unique in this way, especially when I hear or read stories of people who struggle dealing with acceptance, obstacles and challenges. This doesn't just include people with disabilities, as everybody has something in their life that may stop them in their tracks and they have to choose which way to handle it or go about dealing.
Let it be known that love is an amazing feeling and there is nothing else like it in the world. Hold onto those close to you and never let go because one doesn't know when the last time they'll see them is.
Jenni

Source: http://thesitethatbreathes.blogspot.com/2012/09/relationships-and-love.html

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